“So don’t boast about following a particular human leader. For everything belongs to you—whether Paul or Apollos or Peter, or the world, or life and death, or the present and the future. Everything belongs to you, and you belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God.”—Apostle Paul to the church of Corinth; 1 Corinthians 3:21-23
The thing is at times I feel like bursting out writing down every snippet of my thoughts ALL IN CAPS. Just today, I’m distressed by how much I care about Gifford’s shooting; I have been checking my admission status every single day; My boyfriend broke up with me over ice cream in my dream and I had to threaten his life (figuratively speaking) so that he will stay with me; How did Maroon 5 manage to stay together as a band and produce such awesome sad love songs while Paramore is making such a scene? ; Retreat is coming = time to google icebraker games; I have been checking my admission status every single day. It is overwhelming. Arrays of emotions overtake this small brain of mine with a very limited capacity. It is unsettling and uncomfortable. I attempt few things to make sense out of my thoughts but the process itself drains me. So I resort back to a mindless and numbing soothing haven a.k.a Facebook. This afternoon was another block of time that was caught in this vicious cycle.
I got to talk to a friend on facebook chat and he shares what was on his mind. When he said he has a lot on his mind, I did not realize ‘a lot’ meant…… well, a lot. Not just this afternoon but recently, God has been speaking to me through people. They have been sharing their pains and thoughts whether intentionally or not. The more burdened I get listening to them, the more urgent I feel to make some sort of sense out so that I can get an illusion that things are at their places; that my world, which consists of myself and people I love and care about, is not crumbling down. I need a context. I need and want a context that would somehow put me at ease even though it does not make any logical and worldly sense as to why certain situations were happening to good and faithful people. I need a context where I could shove in all my unorganized thoughts, irrational emotions and somehow be at peace knowing wholeheartedly that there is a greater purpose than we make ourselves ought to be, a greater love that provides and protects with no boundaries.
And Thank God I have one:
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love…… This is my command: Love each other.You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other. - Jesus, John 15:9-10, 16-17
And Thank God that this one is the only context I will ever need.